Becoming

I am becoming so tired of always smiling. 

I just need to feel sad and fucked up and mad. 

But the meds keep me from being that part of myself. 

It’s so hard in a place where everyone is so “happy”. 

It’s so hard when all everyone knows you is here is as happy and fun. 

I need a drink. 

The meds and I are becoming a love-hate relationship again.